What happens when you’re exiting the freeway and what appears to be a destitute wanderer is asking for spare change and a smile via a crumpled square of a previously discarded Pabst Blue Ribbon box? You may examine his ripped jeans and trucker hat with quick glances and conceive what his life story must be. You may ask yourself questions like, “how could this have happened? Or “I wonder where he is from?” “Where is his family?” And then when you inadvertently make that uncomfortable eye contact, you feel like you owe him an explanation as to why your window isn’t descending and your hand isn’t filled with the 37 cents you scraped from your car’s sticky cup holder.
And that’s when we all do it (I thought it was just me until I was driving with my friend Julia last week and she did it too. So if the both of us do it, obviously everyone does.). We offer him an apology and answer by speaking out loud to ourselves. “I’m sorry Sir, but I can barely afford my own rent.” While it is usually obvious that the drifter is struggling with life’s strains much more than us, as indicated by the fact we even have rent to pay, we still feel guilty if we can’t offer him an inaudible explanation. “Sorry sir, I only have a few bucks for the necessities; laundry detergent, shampoo and a cold beer.”
Recently I saw a travelling man holding a sign that said, “If nothing else…SMILE!” I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable offering you an empty, cheerful smile knowing life has you in a really low place right now because if the tables were turned and you smiled at my dilapidated soul, I’d be pretty f’ing irritated. So until I can come up with a better alternative, I will stick with the verbal explanation to myself.
