Tuesday, April 15, 2008

You Hate "The Hills" But Watch It Anyways



Raise your hand if you watch “The Hills”. Ok, I don’t honestly expect anyone to raise their hand because it is the number one show everybody watches but refuses to admit. It has to be the most unreal, reality television program ever created yet Monday after Monday I tune in to watch the latest and fakest “Heidi sad face”, enhanced this year due to her obvious and overly frequent collagen lip injections. (Seriously she needs to stop. Her lips are beyond the size of the Goodyear Blimp, her new boobs were implanted into her throat, her nose job makes her look older- not sure what the problem was with her original nose- I assume she claims deviated septum to fit in with the rest of Hollywood, and her bright white hair is eye-blinding. Also, she could stand to eat more than a fruit cup for lunch).

Each episode is virtually the same, Heidi, Spencer, Lauren and Audrina all magically appear at the same Hollywood club and have a massive verbal brawl about who made eye contact with who, that always leads back to “the rumor” and then there is conversation about the latest Heidi and Spencer conspiracy theory to “break-up” Lauren and Audrina. Every episode is honestly the same story line.

Rewind to the episode this past Monday, 4/14. During the first scene, Heidi asks the receptionist at Audrina’s job where she can find her. Fun fact of the day- I was that same receptionist at Sony as a temp for two and a half weeks when I first moved here…McDonalds drive thru headset and all! How hilarious is that? I wish Heidi would have walked in while I was there so I could have popped her lips with a push pin. But then again, this was two years ago- when she still looked human.

Tune in next week when Heidi unnaturally forces a girls night out with her enemy’s roommate and her douche-bag boyfriend’s younger sister. Nobody can say she doesn’t have girlfriends! Audrina’s random and fake co-worker totally counts as Heidi’s friend!