In a past life, I was a member of an ass-kickin’ female vocal group, a la Danity Kane. I absolutely know I was. I had to have been. Picture me. Picture all you know of me and try and tell me I’m not one-fifth a slice of pure pop perfection. I am the sporty but sassy member. The girl whose style exudes sophista-funk. The one who makes tennis shoes look sexy. The girl who plays football with the boys and kicks their asses all while looking good. The member with the best body roll. I am thinking about unleashing my past life onto P. Diddy/Puffy/Sean Combs himself so he can transform me into super stardom once again. He needs me. I need him. I am a popstar stuck in a metadata specialist’s body and watching episodes of "Making The Band 4" is making it worse. I need the stage. Give me one-fifth of it.
