I once read an article about how men in the workplace will frequently hire other men without feeling any sense of competition and then guide them along their career path, support them, teach them and go out of their way to act as a mentor. The article went on to say how often, women won’t hire other women, especially if attractive, because they feel threatened and there is an instant unfriendliness amongst women. Therefore, women aren’t willing to help their own kind which further holds back our gender. I think this is horribly sad. Women, are we holding eachother down?
I recently mentioned this to a girl friend who disagreed. We discussed how we embrace our female friendships and welcome new ones into our lives. We enjoy meeting new women, especially in the work place where this small group of people we see every weekday and share a good amount of our lives with, become like a second family. We welcome women who can enjoy low-maintenance laughs, cold beers, Bachelor premeire nights, and more than one bite of a baked good. But the article said we are the minority.
I have more than once been the victim of girl-on-girl work crime. At my first job out of college, an older woman tried to tell HR I was dressing inappropriately. My work clothes at that time consisted of mostly black and grey pants, button down shirts, sweaters, and a few skirts- boring, but colorful. I was living in Cleveland where it is Winter eight months out of the year, where even if I wanted to wear revealing clothing, I couldn’t because my body would be covered in mini icicles. Furthermore, I was too insecure about my post-college body to ever dress inappropriately. Perhaps it was my wardrobe’s lack of taupe trousers and charcoal-colored wool that made it seem too unsophisticated. There was an incident where this female co-worker pulled up my sweater closer to my neck and tried to tell me my bra straps were showing and warned me as if I was a child “we don’t dress like this at an office.” I told her it was a camisole and I’d never have my bra straps showing at the office. Additionally, this sweater was from The Limited, where they are hardly known for their raunchy clothing.
In an office of seven people, she went to our HR/Office Manager who didn’t agree with her claim but said she would bring it up with our president. He also found her claim unjustified. I later found out this woman had inner struggles with her appearance since childhood and always hid behind a tough, “I’m smart, I don’t have to be pretty” hard, exterior. I never once viewed her as unattractive or judged her by her appearance. She was quite humorous, she had good stories, she was smart, she was independent, she was athletic, she did her job well, and she did volunteer work on the side.
So were her personal issues of self hate just manifesting themselves into a bogus outrage at my appearance because I was young with long, amazing hair? Was this a true case of girl-on-girl work crime?
In recent years, although completely unconfirmed, I heard she had some minor procedures done, i.e. botox injections, and she got breast implants. So what is my response to that? More power to her. I never judged her on the size of her breasts to begin with so as long as she feels better about herself, she should walk tall and proud…in a strapless, bright fuchsia halter top…and all the other women of the world should cheer her on.
